The Divine Narcissism: Why You Love What You Love

Now, you see, we have a very peculiar situation when it comes to the subject of love. We’ve been told by our Sunday schools and our moral philosophers that love is a kind of selfless sacrifice – a sort of “giving up” of oneself for the sake of another. But if we look at the ancient wisdom of the East, we find a statement that sounds, at first blush, absolutely scandalous. They tell us that you don’t love your husband for the husband’s sake, and you don’t love your wife for the wife’s sake. You love them for your own sake.

Now, don’t get the wrong idea. This isn’t a call to be a “greedy little ego.” It’s a pointer to something much more profound. It’s the realization that when you love anything – a mountain, a sunset, a child, or a spouse – what you are actually falling in love with is the Universal Self that resides within that object. You see, the tragedy of the human condition is that we think we are “separate little bags of skin” looking out at a world of “other” things. But in reality, there is only one Reality, one Ultimate Presence, playing a magnificent game of hide-and-seek with itself.

The Mirror of the Self

If you analyze your motives deeply, you’ll find that even your most “unselfish” love has a center of gravity. You derive significance from it. You satisfy a deep, internal need for meaning. But the ancient books tell us: why should you seek significance in the “outside” world when all significance is already within you? You are, in your true nature, the Absolute – free, immortal, and one-without-a-second.

Our love for “objects” is secondary. It’s a “deluded state” because we think the joy is coming from the object. It’s like a dog barking at its own reflection in a mirror. But when you realize that the person you love is actually the same Self that you are, the love changes. It ceases to be a grasping, fearful emotion and becomes a liberating power.

Love as Power vs. Love as Emotion

We often confuse love with emotion. But emotion is what happens when the pure power of love is projected through a “muddy” or unawakened mind. When love is just an emotion, it binds you. it makes you anxious. You start worrying: “Will they leave me? Do they love me as much as I love them?” This kind of love produces grief because it particularizes the object. You separate the person from the whole of the universe, and the moment you do that, you create the possibility of loss.

But love in its pure state is simply Energy. When this energy flows through a clear, awakened mind, it leads to total freedom. You become what the tradition calls “One who delights in the Self.” You are like a lotus that has bloomed; you aren’t trying to “get” anything from the world because you are already overflowing with the bliss of your own nature. And the paradox is that when you are completely immersed in your own Inner Self, you become a center of irresistible attraction for everyone else. Why? Because in loving yourself, you are loving them. You see no “other.”

The Fearless Radiance

This kind of love is universal. It doesn’t care about labels. It doesn’t matter if the person is a saint or a thief. It’s a love that is totally fearless. You see, you can only be afraid of an “other.” If there is no “other” – if everyone is just another version of your own True Self – who is there to be afraid of?

We see this manifested in the life of a certain Great Mother Figure from the East. She was a woman who lived in a state of constant “Delight in the Self.” She loved the high-ranking monks, but she also loved the bandits and the thieves. She didn’t love the bandits because she was “trying to be nice.” She loved them because her heart was so full of the divine light that it simply couldn’t stop overflowing. She once addressed a pair of dacoits who blocked her path as “Father” and “Mother.” It wasn’t a trick to save her skin; it was her fearlessness. She saw the Divine even in the dark corners of the human heart.

The Mother’s Unconditional Gift

This Mother figure demonstrated that a true mother’s love is about Giving, not receiving. She spent her life serving her “children” – the spiritual seekers who flocked to her – but she never asked for a single thing in return. Even when she lived in extreme poverty, she refused to beg or complain. She was like a “pitcher of overflowing bliss.”

And this is the secret: when love is unconditional and undemanding, it is free from jealousy and anxiety. It’s a “magnetic field” of grace. If you enter that field, you get “magnetized.” You start to feel a sense of hope, and that hope matures into love – a love for the ideal, a love for the neighbor, a love that recognizes no boundaries.

Waking Up to Your Heritage

The journey to this state is often described as “walking on a razor’s edge.” It’s difficult, and we often get tired. But the tradition reminds us that we are not alone. There is this “Mother-presence” always near us. When we feel discouraged, we can call upon her.

But here’s the kicker: don’t just “beg” for this love. Demand it. Be like a persistent child who pestered their mother until they got what they needed. The Divine wants you to demand your heritage. If you are hungry for this gift of love, it will be given. It’s not a matter of “hoping” for an uncertain end; it’s about realizing that you are already united with the Supreme Being. When faith dawns, love is just a matter of time. And once that love takes hold, it grows into a mighty tree under whose shade the whole world can find peace.